OWL membership: 3053-3054
Colours: Cream & orange
Owner: Elin Gracie
Formerly: Astoria Blue Hats/All-Stars
Previous owners: TinPan Ali
One of the largest of our new weirdball host cities, Astoria is most famous for the Astorian Academy that specialises in the education of talented young weirdballers with an emphasis on the “baller” part. Several of the current top ballers in the OWL attended the Academy (Jorden Covington, Dalton Kutchka, The Electric Wakeland). Students are famed for their entertaining skills and their bright blue hats that they wear on campus. Known as “The A”, Astoria have won more Academy Weirdball Championships in the last 50 years than all of the other weirdballing academies and universities combined. The affluent city of Astoria has long campaigned for their own senior weirdball team to reap the benefits of the talent they’ve consistently produced. They already have the infrastructure in place with the state-of-the-art Blue Dome capable of seating 70,000 fans. If the “Blue Hats” have as much success as their collegiate/academy program then they’ll quickly become a force to be reckoned with in the OWL.
The Blue Hats were taken over by a mysterious cloaked female after their disappointing debut 3053 season. She claims to be from “Real Earth” in another dimension and is driven by revenge against the OWL who beat her planet in an intergalactic tournament. The newly named Astoria All-Stars are all Legends but they’re so confident that they can make the playoffs that they will be fielding a random busload of Astoria fans throughout the regular season. It’s in everyone’s interests for them to not make it.
With just a week to go before the 3054 season, the new owner of the All-Stars, a powerful being known as Dr Alpha Arcadia (Dr A) bulldozed the Blue Dome and Astoria College. The people of Astoria, calling themselves “The Goonies” rose up and defeated Dr A. They are building a new stadium in the cavern underneath The Shack and have renamed the team the Astoria Goonies. Their side will be made up of different supporters every week. The mysterious cloaked female figure escaped.
Mascot: The Sloth. From the 1980s movie “The Goonies”. A super-strong creature made from radioactive potatoes.
Stadiums: 3013-3053: Blue Dome The Blue Dome was donated to the Astorian Academy by an unnamed wealthy benefactor back in 3013. The biggest and most intimidating of all the academy arenas around Oregon, the Dome will be a welcome addition to the OWL in 3053. Pigeons especially hate a dome (though they still somehow manage to find their way in…)
3054-present day: The Shack. A cavern arena beneath an ancient wooden shack on the cliffs, capacity 25,000.
After going bust for a second time, the Goonies never say die, resurrecting themselves for the 3060 season with Elin Gracie, owner of a local junk store, calling the shots again. They have a crappy stadium, a huge fanbase, a beloved mascot, and they mean business. None of that really matters when it comes to Weirdball.
Trophy cabinet
(empty)
Weirdball 