Colours: Orange & maroon
Joined OWL: 3015
Owner: Chickita Vapoz
Sponsor: AEKI
Motto: “I am the Mighty Kazehaya and I am taking over this motto!”
Nickname: Sods.
Famous for: Violence, smut, and death-rollers.
Previous owner: Carry
Changed their name in 3059 from the Sodaville Paladins to the Sodaville Clobbits. What is a Clobbit? No one knows. Not even the owner.
Previous owners: Twist, 3052; Luke Kondor, 3051
Record:
3051: Won the UC West. Lost in the playoffs.
3052: Won the UC West. Lost in the playoffs.
3053: Runners-up UC West. Lost in the playoffs.
3054: Won the UC West.
3058: Eliminated in the playoffs
Mascot: Plywood Thor
Sodaville Paladins’ mascot Stringer Coyle is replaced by Plywood Thor – who will feel right at home in The Mystery Cardboard Box Arena. He originated from unsold Bistro hotdogs that became infused with godlike power during a stormy night. They went on to build themselves a mighty plywood Thor-shell in the dark corners of futuristic IKEA. Plywood Thor walked the universe, carrying a hammer made from glue and superfluous hardware parts, until he snagged the position as new mascot for the Sodaville Paladins.
Special move: Flatpack hammer.
Stadium: The Magic Box – Capacity Depends
It’s the future. A living, breathing building in a state of constant transformation. The Paladins’ Magic Box may look like a giant cardboard box from the outside, but inside it is a transformative weirdball arena. One week the seats and walls are made of hair, the next they’re gleaming diamonds. The staff are elves that look like miniature Will Ferrells and all very helpful. Just don’t mention Krampus to them. They go nuts. (demolished in 3058)
The Thunderdumb – Capacity 70,000
It’s big, it’s made of flatpack, and it’s like Mad Max meets Dumb & Dumber. Welcome to The Thunderdumb. You’re probably not going to get out alive.
In 3060, after 7 entertaining years, beloved owner Carry was fired by the people of Sodaville. An emotional day for everyone in the city, their failure to capture a Bizarrobowl was the deciding factor. The search for a new owner was brief, with the bandit outlaw Chickita Vapoz and her boyfriend, Pablo Pequeño, buying the franchise for half a schnoo and a pot plant called Bush. Vapoz’s reputation as one of the OIA’s most-wanted means not a lot is likely to change in Sodaville. Expect violence, smut, and a soft spot for Junk Pile nobodies. Oh, and a name change to the Cougars to usher in the new era.
Trophy Cabinet
UC Division 3059
Carl Bowl 3059
UC Champions 3055
UC West Division 3054
Kinder Bowl 3053
UC West Division 3052
UC West Division 3051
Weirdball 